Essay Reflection

After reading, "How to Slowly Kill Yourself and Other's in America" I was left with an unnerving since of reflection. The issues that pledge of society are sometimes glanced over. I personally often forget that the evidence of racial and gender discrimination are indeed at our own door step. Often times the size of the problem isn't put into perspective. How can we change when the South is refusing to take responsibility. The authority of our nation  has to look at it self and fix the wrongful actions in the system. This goes to all branches of the government. Democrats and Republicans need to take notice. The stories of Kiese are becoming a occurring theme in our society. For instance, It's a tragedy when 3 people gang up on a defenseless young woman a forcibly destroy her. She will never be the same, her scars will never hear. That poor person will have to live if that for the rest of her life. This essay touched close to home. Racial discrimination and insentivity is a brooding issue in the South. Having newly moved to Louisiana I feel that I live amongst hornets. The author of this story has struggled with racial prejudice his entire life. It's a vicious cycle that has consumed his life, acting as a barrier for progression. How can he be able to get past his environment if he is regulated by the racism that bestowed upon him. We have alot of growing to do in the South and every time these issues get thrown at us we need to realize how foolish the ideals of hatred our. I enjoyed reading through this essay. While the context of the writing was a bit hard to take in. Kiese represents a minority that has been growing to a escalating problem in the south. All issue that should have been killed years ago.

How to Slowly Kill Yourself and Others in America

In this collection, Kiese Laymon writes in depth about his own personal story, which includes trials and reflections in under-appreciated modern day American life. He gives us insight to his coming-of-age story in Mississippi, where struggled to rise above stereotypes and racism.
A beautiful face of Kiese Laymon we see is his role as a grandson, and the undying love he has for his grandmother. "I think of my grandma and remember that old feeling of being so in-love that nothing matters except seeing and being seen by her. I drop the gun on my chest." When Kiese debates on whether to commit suicide or not because the pain is so strong, he thinks of happy times with his grandma, and it gives him the strength to keep moving on. The respect and love he feels for his grandma  appears to be one of the only things that can calm him down from a rage. She is seen as a very positive influence in his life, and that's something we all need.

How to Slowly Kill Yourself.. Blog - Kennedi Turner

       My reaction to reading "How to Slowly Kill Yourself and Others in America: A Remembrance" by Kiese Laymon was shocking. After reading the title, I was intrigued to know the meaning behind it. I like that many personal experiences were included to strengthen the essay. I've heard of  people having similar experiences but have never seen any events as similar myself. It gave a deeper insight and showed racial violence not involving African American teens who were shot but everyday life. It seems hard to believe that a student could be suspended for not correctly checking out a library book. It could have been anyone that was in that same situation at Mc Donald's that day. It also demonstrated it's own message without seeming like the only purpose was to place blacks as victims.
      The paragraph about the woman bruised outside his friends' apartment stuck out to me. The quote that said" We know that whatever is encouraging them to kill themselves slowly... is probably the most powerful thing in our lives"was the reason. After constantly having to survive and adapt in a world that doesn't accept them, its that unseen defensive mechanism that is put in them. Laymon does note that he has slowed down the killing of himself throughout these events. He didn't resort to violence in any situation expect when provoked by the undercover officer.

How to Slowly Kill Yourself and Others in America

I did not know what to expect from this essay when I read the title “How to Slowly Kill Yourself and Others in America”. The essay by Kiese Laymon gives us the glimpse into the life of a young black male in the south.  I think its very important to see this view of the because a many of us have not experienced anything similar.

I thought it was very powerful that when he explained his age he included the name of a person that was unjustly killed. I thought it was interesting that he said this wasn’t an essay or a “woe-is-we narrative about how hard it is to be a black boy in America. This is a lame attempt at remembering the contours of slow death and life in America for one black American teenager under Central Mississippi skies.” I believe that this essay is used to show that we need to learn to accept ourselves  to live and say yes to life.

How to Slowly Kill Yourself and Others in America

This essay points out a lot of difficulties that a black american teenagers goes through and most african americans for that matter. Everyday and moment they are judged and watched for everything they do. Being on the complete opposite end of the spectrum  this was an eye opening read. The most profound, obvious quote written was, "[my mother] raised me to never ever forget I was on parole, which means no black hoodies in wrong neighborhoods, no jogging at night, hands in plain sight at all times in public, no intimate relationships with white women, never driving over the speed limit or doing those rolling stops at stop signs, always speaking the king's English in the presence of white folks, never being outperformed in school or in public by white students." It's all true, despite what white people, Caucasians  (whatever pc title you want to give us) try to convince our selves or prove, we will never experience this kind of discrimination and distrust.  We'll never be profiled based on our skin. We will always be the aggressors who blame them. Hundreds of years of hatred was breed into our upbringing. And only in the last century have we actually started to deny that and make slight attempts to change it. This article proves that even today humanity is still not in a fair place with equality, civil rights, and/or justice. It's disheartening to know that people have to behave a certain way all the time in public, because a select group of people has instilled so much fear and hate that they can't be themselves. 

How To Slowly Kill Yourself & Others in America

Kiese Laymon isn’t just telling the story of how his early life was filled with harrowing trial and tribulations, but the true nature of the black American experience. For many this is just a window into a world that they can’t even begin to understand. For me, however, it is something that hits home for me everyday of my life. Laymon details how being the country’s most hated demographic not only weighed heavily on his life, but took the lives of numerous young African Americans in his own state and country. The use of Laymon’s rigid and unpredictable words and transitions make the excerpt pile up to a harsh reality that kept my attention the whole way through.   

These harsh realities are: institutional racism, police brutality, black-on-black crime, and mental illness. All of these played a part in the choices that Kiese Laymon made. Although individuals would say his personal choices led to harsh outcomes, we as an audience have to think about the part society and ourselves play in continuing inequality and instilling equality in our country. At times while I was reading I was confused as to why Laymon thought he was killing others in America. But I have also learned that if you’re not practicing anti racism, you’re only contributing to the problem. I can relate to Laymon’s feeling of identity loss through the contrived ideas of society and racism towards those who I share the same skin color as. It makes me wonder have I done enough to create progression in my community or am I only continuing to contribute to the loss of those who are just like me.   

How to Slowly Kill Yourself In America

This was a really great reading. Something that really struck me was the part Kiese wrote

when discussing the library book he took and returned. "as Harmon tells her that I am being suspended from Millsaps for at least a year for taking and returning Red Badge of Courage from the library without formally checking it out." This quote came along awhile after Kiese got into an altercation with a bunch of Greek life members and calling media to the campus because of the strong hate speech and violence that was going on there. He continues on discussing his suspension and mentions that, "Even if I am admitted back as a student, I will remain formally on parole for the rest of my undergrad career, which means that I will be expelled from Millsaps College unless I'm perfect. 19-year-old black boys can not be perfect in America. Neither can 61-year-old white boys named George." This really stuck out to me in the fact that he isn't just talking about the difficulties of being a young black man in America. He acknowledges that these racists in the South can not cope with the idea that they aren't perfect and superior to other races. Every little step of the way, there was one more things just weighing on this man for him to contemplate suicide over. Almost being robbed and shot, disappointing his grandmother, being kicked out of college, family struggles, and witnessing the aftermath of a brutal rape and attempted murder on a woman he doesn't even know. The title "how to slowly kill yourself in America" I think sets in with how its the little, every day things in life that slowly kill us. The unnecessary hate and anger people feel towards one another, that is slowly killing us and others.