How to Slowly Kill Yourself and Others in America

The most striking thing about this essay was the narrator's line about Frank Ocean's song Bad Religion. Frank Ocean's song Bad religion encompasses a wide range of ideas but it primarily focuses  on Ocean and his unrequited love with some unknown to the listener. He does not know why he is unloved and he struggles with the person that he is. Ocean writes "I swear I got three lives balanced on my head like steak knives.  I can’t tell you the truth about my disguise. I can’t trust no one." It is clear that in the song Ocean is conflicted. it could be because he is trying to balance all that he is while still trying to please his lover but to no avail. He says if i"t brings me to my knees its a bad religion". Ocean is comparing the love he has for this person to a bad religion, because while like love religion is supposed to be empowering and positive, but instead it has "brought him to his knees," a sign of being troubled. This relates to our narrator in "How to Slowly Kill Yourself and Others in America" Because he to is conflicted with the person he has become because their is no winning. He must balance being a black man in America whilst also, being able to stand up for what he believes in, and keep himself and others safe. He kills himself because his actions sometimes do not reflect how he truly feels. An example of this would be when he puts down his gun and  instead brings the wooden baseball bat to the fend off the fraternity brothers after they have insulted him and his girlfriend with racial slurs. Later he throws his gun in the river. The narrator says "I'm a walking regret, a truth-teller, a liar, a survivor, a frowning ellipsis, a witness, a dreamer, a teacher, a student, a joker, a writer whose eyes stay red, and I'm a child of this nation." He basically is saying that being a black boy in America is Bad Religion. He is not happy with himself so he is "slowly killing" himself whilst also "slowly killing" others because he cannot please everyone and does not want to face the hard repercussions of what it would mean to truly stand up for black men. Death. 

How to Slowly Kill Yourselves and Others in America

This essay doesn't explicitly say that race is a root cause of tensions for our narrator,  but it is easily assumed that is what the essay was trying to convey. Although this is what the writer was trying to prove, I do not believe that race is the main cause of struggle here. Most of the hardships come from his struggle between his university and himself. I believe this problem isn't unique to the African-american community. Most people who go against the establishment encounter such hardships from being suspended to expelled and ostracized in the community. Many people from all walks of life, as far back as history can record, sees those who are different, those who stand up for something and against injustices, usually encounter some type of backlash. Issues are always labeled to have some root cause such as poverty, race, sex, or something else along those line. I think this essay is more geared to tackle the race issues, but it could be those who disrupt the apple cart. Our narrators essays about masturbation and news film with him fighting as well as naming those who is fighting with and proving they are from the university paints  bad name for the university time and time again. It disrupts the flow of the flow of interest and revenue for the university. It is bad for business. No matter the color of skin of someone who does such things, the university will always probably respond, the cause of the problem would have been treated the same no matter what color of skin or background. If it costs the university money it is bad for business. There are bad race tensions and problems that need to be dest with but I am not sure most of our narrators issues that he faced were because of the color of his skin.

Reaction to Essay

               How to Slowly Kill Yourself and Others in America: A Remembrance is an essay written by Kiese Laymon.  The essay describes the problems with racism in America today, especially for African American youth.  Laymon describes the instances where he has had guns pulled on him while in Central Mississippi and how dangerous growing up was for him.  I reacted by realizing the excessive force and racism behind the police in America.  Laymon was nearly killed by an off-duty white police officer fueled by alcohol, racism, and hate.  A gun is also pulled on Laymon by a kid 2 years younger than him in an attempt to rob him.  Another problem in America lies in how easy it is for people to access firearms and to kill others.  I could not describe how it would feel for this author to grow up being so unfairly treated and harmed.  Racist frat brothers use the n word like it;s no big deal.  The unrelenting struggle leads to Laymon nearly killing himself with his mothers gun.  I admire Laymon's inner strength to fight for his rights and justice for African Americans.  The problems still remain in America and writers like Laymon spread awareness help the cause.

Essay Reflection

After reading, "How to Slowly Kill Yourself and Other's in America" I was left with an unnerving since of reflection. The issues that pledge of society are sometimes glanced over. I personally often forget that the evidence of racial and gender discrimination are indeed at our own door step. Often times the size of the problem isn't put into perspective. How can we change when the South is refusing to take responsibility. The authority of our nation  has to look at it self and fix the wrongful actions in the system. This goes to all branches of the government. Democrats and Republicans need to take notice. The stories of Kiese are becoming a occurring theme in our society. For instance, It's a tragedy when 3 people gang up on a defenseless young woman a forcibly destroy her. She will never be the same, her scars will never hear. That poor person will have to live if that for the rest of her life. This essay touched close to home. Racial discrimination and insentivity is a brooding issue in the South. Having newly moved to Louisiana I feel that I live amongst hornets. The author of this story has struggled with racial prejudice his entire life. It's a vicious cycle that has consumed his life, acting as a barrier for progression. How can he be able to get past his environment if he is regulated by the racism that bestowed upon him. We have alot of growing to do in the South and every time these issues get thrown at us we need to realize how foolish the ideals of hatred our. I enjoyed reading through this essay. While the context of the writing was a bit hard to take in. Kiese represents a minority that has been growing to a escalating problem in the south. All issue that should have been killed years ago.

How to Slowly Kill Yourself and Others in America

In this collection, Kiese Laymon writes in depth about his own personal story, which includes trials and reflections in under-appreciated modern day American life. He gives us insight to his coming-of-age story in Mississippi, where struggled to rise above stereotypes and racism.
A beautiful face of Kiese Laymon we see is his role as a grandson, and the undying love he has for his grandmother. "I think of my grandma and remember that old feeling of being so in-love that nothing matters except seeing and being seen by her. I drop the gun on my chest." When Kiese debates on whether to commit suicide or not because the pain is so strong, he thinks of happy times with his grandma, and it gives him the strength to keep moving on. The respect and love he feels for his grandma  appears to be one of the only things that can calm him down from a rage. She is seen as a very positive influence in his life, and that's something we all need.

How to Slowly Kill Yourself.. Blog - Kennedi Turner

       My reaction to reading "How to Slowly Kill Yourself and Others in America: A Remembrance" by Kiese Laymon was shocking. After reading the title, I was intrigued to know the meaning behind it. I like that many personal experiences were included to strengthen the essay. I've heard of  people having similar experiences but have never seen any events as similar myself. It gave a deeper insight and showed racial violence not involving African American teens who were shot but everyday life. It seems hard to believe that a student could be suspended for not correctly checking out a library book. It could have been anyone that was in that same situation at Mc Donald's that day. It also demonstrated it's own message without seeming like the only purpose was to place blacks as victims.
      The paragraph about the woman bruised outside his friends' apartment stuck out to me. The quote that said" We know that whatever is encouraging them to kill themselves slowly... is probably the most powerful thing in our lives"was the reason. After constantly having to survive and adapt in a world that doesn't accept them, its that unseen defensive mechanism that is put in them. Laymon does note that he has slowed down the killing of himself throughout these events. He didn't resort to violence in any situation expect when provoked by the undercover officer.

How to Slowly Kill Yourself and Others in America

I did not know what to expect from this essay when I read the title “How to Slowly Kill Yourself and Others in America”. The essay by Kiese Laymon gives us the glimpse into the life of a young black male in the south.  I think its very important to see this view of the because a many of us have not experienced anything similar.

I thought it was very powerful that when he explained his age he included the name of a person that was unjustly killed. I thought it was interesting that he said this wasn’t an essay or a “woe-is-we narrative about how hard it is to be a black boy in America. This is a lame attempt at remembering the contours of slow death and life in America for one black American teenager under Central Mississippi skies.” I believe that this essay is used to show that we need to learn to accept ourselves  to live and say yes to life.