How to Slowly Kill Yourself and Others in America

The most striking thing about this essay was the narrator's line about Frank Ocean's song Bad Religion. Frank Ocean's song Bad religion encompasses a wide range of ideas but it primarily focuses  on Ocean and his unrequited love with some unknown to the listener. He does not know why he is unloved and he struggles with the person that he is. Ocean writes "I swear I got three lives balanced on my head like steak knives.  I can’t tell you the truth about my disguise. I can’t trust no one." It is clear that in the song Ocean is conflicted. it could be because he is trying to balance all that he is while still trying to please his lover but to no avail. He says if i"t brings me to my knees its a bad religion". Ocean is comparing the love he has for this person to a bad religion, because while like love religion is supposed to be empowering and positive, but instead it has "brought him to his knees," a sign of being troubled. This relates to our narrator in "How to Slowly Kill Yourself and Others in America" Because he to is conflicted with the person he has become because their is no winning. He must balance being a black man in America whilst also, being able to stand up for what he believes in, and keep himself and others safe. He kills himself because his actions sometimes do not reflect how he truly feels. An example of this would be when he puts down his gun and  instead brings the wooden baseball bat to the fend off the fraternity brothers after they have insulted him and his girlfriend with racial slurs. Later he throws his gun in the river. The narrator says "I'm a walking regret, a truth-teller, a liar, a survivor, a frowning ellipsis, a witness, a dreamer, a teacher, a student, a joker, a writer whose eyes stay red, and I'm a child of this nation." He basically is saying that being a black boy in America is Bad Religion. He is not happy with himself so he is "slowly killing" himself whilst also "slowly killing" others because he cannot please everyone and does not want to face the hard repercussions of what it would mean to truly stand up for black men. Death.