In "Confessions of a Failed Southern Lady," we learn what characteristics are expected of a southern lady. Granny starts off giving an example of what being a lady should be. She says that a lady could never be intellectual and refers to them as 'bluestockings'. Her daughter did not adapt to the correct ways of becoming a lady. She taught herself to drive after stealing her brothers car and quit school at 15 to play softball. She also would not allow for men to wait on her. Since she could do nothing with her daughter, granny went in search for another girl who would listen to her. Her daughter knew how her mom wanted to act but choose to follow what she wanted to do. When Evelyn came into the picture, she became that malleable girl that granny was looking for. Her femininity led her to be desired by many men. For the male perspective of what they should be, Preston Hunt did not represent it. He grew up to be a 'sissy' despite his fathers' strict discipline.
In "Hunting Years," Franklin discusses what it takes to become a man in the south. It started off when he was reasonably young. He wanted to spend his money on G.I. Joe action figures but his knew his father looked down on him for it. He also pretended to want to go fishing with his brothers and neighbors so he wouldn't have to be a 'pussy'. In order to further avoid it, he attempts to kill his first deer despite not having any interest in it. He kills the deer and proves his manliness but his dad still is not pleased as he didn't follow the correct etiquette to kill the deer. He killed it but repeatedly stabbed the deer 12 times in order to mimic a buckshot pattern.
In both writings, there are many examples of what a lady and gentleman should be like. Neither of the main characters agree to their parents.However, they respond to the rules placed for them in different ways. Mama in "Confessions of a Failed Southern Lady" does not listen at all to her mothers' advice. In "Hunting Years," Tom tries to adhere to his fathers' advice. It does not seem to leave any lasting negative effects on either character.
I think your right when you say "[there are] not lasting negative effects." Both main characters seem to be content with where they end up in life due to their "against the status quo" choices and life styles. Even though their gender roles were predetermined by their parents and it set a standard for them to begin their lives, they were able to diverge from that point into their own persons.
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