The juxtaposition of these two pieces, Hunting Years and Confessions of a Failed Southern Lady, by Tom Franklin and Florence King respectively, provides a very clear picture of the vivid distinctions that separates the "rearing" of boys and girls. Not even simply in terms of the south - King notes in the excerpt from Confessions, "the sweetening process that feminists call "socialization" is simply a less intense version of what goes on in every Southern family," supposing that although gender roles may exist, even in strict forms throughout the country, Southern gender performance crystalizes into a pure form of the ideal. She suggests the Southern family model as something to study if one wants to understand women nationwide and with good reason; the dramatic performance implicit in both male and female performance in the South provides a more clear dissection of gender much in the same way that some things exist purely only in satire. Blowing the concept up to a larger size leaves us able to deconstruct it more easily.
While what it means to be a lady and a man in the South, these archetypes, they are things that exit in our collective consciousness, the narratives provided by these two authors are individualistic and therefore worth paying attention to. The most stark difference in these two stories, then, isn't what expected of the two in their gender expression, but the response they have. King's tone is initially contrarian, possibly inspired by her mother's original rebellion, while Franklin makes it clear that from the start, he felt inclined to live up to the role that was applied to him. I'd wager to guess that this difference is because of the different things that are gained by each role. Franklin's expected masculinity implied power and a denial of masculinity was a denial of a more comfortable birthright - while King's subversion of her expected femininity implied rebellion, a desire for more, Franklin being unable to live up to this cartoonish concept of masculinity implied weakness. While masculinity meant aggression, power, impressing ones will onto the world, being a lady, specifically a Southern lady, that implied quiet discipline, pulling into onesself - the life of a monk by comparison. What it then says, about each, that they did not necessarily desire what was expected of them is very different. What this difference says more than anything, though, is how troublesome these ideals are in the first place. Aggression and discipline, these are not gender specific traits. To not desire one does not deprive someone of their gender.
As you stated Samantha, gender performance portrayed in each essay ultimately comes from the response the characters have, opposed to what is presumed for them to be or act because of their gender. The stereotypical gender roles which are prominent where they are from, which is the South, sets the stage for the authors, Tom Franklin and Florence King, to dish out what gender roles in the South are truly like. King unhesitatingly points out that “if rearing in the South is successful, it results in that perfection of femininity known as a lady.” King’s grandmother is determined after her failure with her own daughter to mold King into the perfect Southern lady who encompasses delicacy, fragility, but most importantly, married. However, King responds by learning to put more worth on independence, courage, and honesty. In The Hunting Years, Franklin identified hunting as a symbol of manhood. Hunting represented masculinity for a boy in Franklin’s Alabama hometown and this forced him to relentlessly fulfill the goal of killing a deer to prove he was not weak or cowardly. He learns that his own passions are the only thing that could truly make him feel happy and accomplished. Being a southern bell or a dedicated native hunter are portrayed as the ideal representation of a man and woman in these two novels. Gender roles become something that pre-defines a person by fixed images of societal and cultural standards. However, as you said, the characters prove gender does not define us or hinder us from reaching our own individual goals.
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