Gender Roles and other things...

Reading this book was a very strange experience for me. Firstly the extreme detail in which Ward uses to communicate to the reader was so unsettling but somehow it made me want to keep reading. Secondly I could relate to Esch's character quite a bit. My circumstances growing up were nowhere near as dire and difficult as Esch's. I was raised with a mom, dad and a little sister. That being said there should be zero excuses for faults in "acting like a proper woman”. I think its important to realize that most woman go through the same thoughts and feelings that Esch did. Growing up I was always a daddy's girl. Only participating in only sports I lived to impress my dad. I was the boy he never had.  Once I got to high school, however things changed, as most things do. Just like Esch I had self-image issues. Even with the strong support system, it didn't matter. The quote that resonates the most with me throughout the whole novel is... “And it was easier to let him keep on touching me than ask him to stop, easier to let him inside than to push him away, easier than hearing him ask me, "Why not?" It was easier to keep quiet and take it than to give him an answer.” This quote and the ones similar where Esch feels like her voice, wants, and feelings do not matter are so prominent in the hearts of so many young women. This can be attributed to the double standards put on women not only in the south, but also in all of society. If men sleep around and have sex with multiple women it's applauded, while women are called sluts. The same way women who become attached after sex are seen as crazy or possessive, and women who say "no" are seen as prude or a tease. Esch is stuck somewhere in the middle, as are several young women her age. It is important to see her growth by the end of novel. Esch must take responsibility for her actions (the casual sex), as well as help her family prepare for the hurricane. By the end to the novel she has come to terms with the fact that she will be a mother and she is slightly less intimidated by it because she has acknowledge that she has to take care of her family during this trying time. Esch closes with "She will know I am a mother." This quote is in reference to China, but I also think it is for herself, her mother, and her audience. A final acceptance of who she has become and who she must be in the future… For her family, for her child, and most importantly for herself.